Therapy Myths That Need to Retire
There are a lot of…assumptions about therapy, even as it becomes more and more normalized in our lives. Unfortunately, therapy has a bit of a PR problem, and honestly? Some of it is hilarious.
Let’s see how many of these you’ve already heard:
Myth #1: You have to cry for it to count.
Truth: If crying were my metric, I would suck in my own therapeutic experience! (your girl is not super emosh normally). Progress can look like tears, but it can also look like talking calmly about your mother without your jaw clenching, reviewing boundaries you’ve established in friendships without major heart palpitations, or even being able to smile for the first time when reflecting on a breakup. It’s all a win. No tissues required.
Myth #2: Your therapist is judging your choices.
Truth: I promise you I am not mentally rating your life decisions like a judge on a baking show. Frankly, a lot of my clients have been in similar situations that I have in the past when it comes to relationships or boundaries or…”maladaptive coping mechanisms.” No judgment over here, scout’s honor.
Myth #3: Therapy is just someone agreeing with everything you say
Truth: EL OH EL. If you could talk to some of my clients, they’d tell you that your girl loves a call-out. There are certainly times where validating/normalizing your experience is necessary, right, and important. ANNNND you don’t come to therapy to have a good time. If you want someone to be a good listener who never challenges you, you’d keep chatting with your fur children.
Myth #4: You only go to therapy if something is REALLY WRONG
Truth: This idea keeps a lot of people (particularly couples) away from therapy. Starting therapy doesn’t mean you or your relationship is broken. It just means that the more you grow, the more you realize you need some adjustments in the way that you communicate, show love or affection, or in the expectations you have within your relationships. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP ISN’T GOOD. This myth is the equivalent to saying you only go to the gym after you’re injured. And that’s just silly.
Myth #5: Once you “fix” the problem, you never have to go to therapy ever again for the rest of forever
Truth: The human experience is not a “one treatment fixes all”. In a lot of cases, more “issues” can be resolved because of something you’ve learned in therapy. And also, sometimes you need a tune-up if life becomes more…involved. And that’s ok!
Myth #6: Therapists have it all figured out.
Truth: If you saw me outside of the therapy enviornment, you might second-guess your decision-making skills. I struggle, I make bad choices, and I have to make amends when I hurt the people I care about just like my clients. Most of the time I am held together by a Google Calendar and a cold cup of coffee at any given moment. We’re all out here, just doing our best.
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So next time you catch yourself thinking therapy means crying on cue, being judged relentlessly, or finally graduating for good, let this be your sign to retire those suckers.
Therapy isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about showing up anyway, cold coffee and chaotic calendar included. If you’ve been on the fence about starting, maybe this is the nudge. You don’t need a crisis to deserve support, and you definitely don’t need to cry to prove it’s working.
